A man with a wife and children ties himself to fate in ways that can limit his freedom to take risks. Family can hold back those who aspire to achieve greatness, whether through virtue or vice. History shows that some of the most significant contributions to society often come from individuals without spouses or children. These people devote their resources and energy entirely to the public good, essentially “marrying” their work for the greater benefit of others.
That said, parents have an essential responsibility to the future. Knowing they must pass down their legacy, they have a strong reason to care about what comes after them. Still, some single people live only for themselves, dismissing the future as irrelevant. Others see marriage and children as nothing but financial burdens. Some even boast about remaining childless, believing it makes them appear wealthier, as if having dependents somehow diminishes their fortune. They might have overheard comments like, “He’s a very rich man,” only to hear the reply, “Yes, but he has many children to support,” as if that were a mark against his wealth.
Many choose to stay single for the sake of personal freedom, especially those who resist any form of restraint. These people are so sensitive to control that they see even small commitments, like wearing a belt, as a type of imprisonment. Unmarried men often make better friends, employees, or leaders because they’re not tied down by domestic obligations. However, they may lack loyalty as citizens, being more prone to abandon ship when things get tough—most fugitives, after all, are single.
Singleness suits clergy well since their “charity” tends to serve the public better than their personal circles. For judges and officials, marriage is a mixed bag: an indulgent wife might lead to corruption, but an overly strict spouse could do worse damage. For soldiers, however, marriage often provides motivation. Generals frequently remind their men of their families to inspire courage. Interestingly, in some cultures like the Turks, the disdain for marriage among common soldiers makes them less honorable.
Marriage and children shape a person’s character, teaching patience and humanity. While single people might seem more charitable due to fewer financial commitments, they often develop a hardness of heart. Without the daily demands of a family to soften them, they may grow severe and unyielding—qualities valued in inquisitors, perhaps, but not in ordinary life.
Steady and serious personalities tend to make the most devoted husbands. As the poet said of Ulysses, “He preferred his old wife to immortality.” Women who remain chaste often become prideful or difficult, relying too heavily on their virtue as justification. A wife’s respect for her husband can bind her loyalty and obedience, but she’ll never think him wise if he’s consumed by jealousy.
Marriage evolves with a man’s age: wives are romantic companions in youth, partners in middle age, and caretakers in old age. So, a man may find valid reasons to marry at any stage of life. Still, one wise man famously remarked that young men should wait, and older men should avoid marriage altogether.
Ironically, bad husbands often end up with excellent wives. This could be because such wives value their husbands’ rare acts of kindness all the more or take pride in their ability to endure hardship. However, when a woman marries against the advice of her friends and family, she’s especially determined to make her marriage work—if only to prove her choice wasn’t a mistake.
Bacon Blueprint 